People can fill their time with dependent relationships or with addictions; alcohol, drugs – both legal and illegal, sex, gambling, eating, not eating, shopping, self-harm, Internet use, work and more.What is common to all is the attempt to use an external object, person or induced state to defend against an intolerable feeling.
In the end these patterns are not fulfilling, they leave us feeling; empty, sad, bad, helpless and angry. We are left with a familiar ‘life is like that’ feeling that reaffirms our feelings and beliefs about self, others and the world.
I am interested in how we can break out of these patterns. Though it can seem disappointing and hopeless to find oneself in the low of having played out a pattern ‘Again’ I believe the fact we keep repeating these patterns can be seen as encouraging. Every time people repeat the pattern it is an indication of the ‘life Force’ in them that wants to get better and live a more fulfilled life.
There is an energy locked in the process; a part of the person trying to be and enact in the world- with all the uncertainty, ups & downs, thoughts, and feelings that brings with it. The other part finding it a threat to the established way of avoiding being fully present. Perhaps it seems bizarre but I believe that part of the self that defends against being fully present is on our side. It is an archaic part of the Psyche attempting to defend the inner world. Unfortunately it dose so from a set, earlier, more primitive point in the personal history. A part that responded to the environment as it was perceived then.
The goal is to release that trapped energy in order to be able to be more ‘ourselves’ in the world.
